I started writing this blogpost many months ago. On June 9th, to be precise. On that day, I began:
“Yesterday I finished something I had been working on for very many months, which I found incredibly difficult at times, which I wasn’t even sure if I could do.”
And then I didn’t know what to say next. What could stand up to the words I had heard the previous day, and the feelings I know that those words sparked? For a long time, I felt that maybe the contribution I could make here was nothing. There was nothing I could say that could live up to the loveliness of those things.
So I said nothing. And here’s the funny thing about nothing in real life. It’s not like it is in mathematics. With mathematics you cannot multiple zero to make anything bigger. And yet, with life, nothing can sometimes have this funny habit of doubling, and doubling, and then becoming a big wall of nothing that you’re not sure if you can see behind. Especially if you’re really little.
And then something comes out of nowhere and collides with that wall, knocks it off balance, and shows it to be imaginary, made out of lots of nothings. And you find enough words to make a sentence. One day I might find some more words and I might be able to explain it all in a way that means something.
But for now, I’ll just share with you some of these lovely words from the lovely Jodi Ann Bickley. She’s pretty awesome.